So we've hit the 2 week mark and Lucy and I are still homeless and jobless, and if we’re not careful we’ll soon be penniless too! However despite our unsuccessful attempts to get the Canadian public to believe we’re reputable employees who would be an asset to their fine companies, we’ve still been having a pretty awesome time! And considering we’ve barely spent a single hour apart for 2 solid weeks I think the fact that we’ve not come to physical blows yet is an achievement in itself!
To keep things short, and because everyone loves a good list, here are a few of our first impressions of the great city that we’re to call ‘home’ for the next year…
To keep things short, and because everyone loves a good list, here are a few of our first impressions of the great city that we’re to call ‘home’ for the next year…
1. THE SIZE
Vancouver is a massive city. I used to think Manchester was pretty big there’s really no comparison. Here everything’s really spread out; several times we’ve walked until we could physically walk no more, only to realize we’d covered the most insignificant distances on the map. But I guess it’s to be expected when you’re living in a city that offers the variety of sandy beaches, enormous skyscrapers, a huge national park and breathtaking snow-capped mountains.
2. THE SIGHTS
Along with the endless hours applying for jobs and viewing houses, we have managed to do a bit of sightseeing. On one of very few sunny days we ventured into the famous Stanley Park to see the totem poles and some awesome views of the two sides of the city separated by the bay. We saw the steaming clock in Gastown and ventured (bravely!) into the less attractive East Hastings and Chinatown. Another day we tried out Granville Market which is an enormous marketplace with the most amazing array of fresh food: fruit and veg, seafood, incredible cakes, local delicacies and loads more. It was a cruel punishment to go knowing we couldn’t spend any money but as soon as there’s a pay check on the way I’m sure we’ll be back down there buying lobsters and cream cakes aplenty! We’ve also made the most of our current location in the Downtown area, checking out the shops and some great bars, the clubs here are a bit of a letdown ($16 entry is standard!) but there’s loads of live music every week and they even do a Brit night every Thursday!
3. THE HOSTEL
So until we find our own place we’re living the dream in a hostel. It has its perks: it’s cheap, it’s central, and the free breakfast is a great way to start the day. However if you actually want a place where you can get a decent night’s sleep, then a youth hostel is not for you! In just two weeks we’ve met enough freaks and weirdoes to last a lifetime. Our first roomies were a young German couple who clearly felt that a bunk bed in a shared bedroom was the perfect place to consummate their passion for each another, and gave Lucy something to remember after she walked in on their sordid act! However this doesn’t really compare to a girl who the other day got kicked out of the hostel by police after she was caught having sex in the hostel kitchen…yes, you did read that right!!
Then there was a whole week when we were woken every morning at 6am by the sound of wretching coming from the bathroom. At first we thought it was just someone feeling the effects of the night before, until it happened again…and again, and it came to our attention that a disgusting fat old man was making himself sick everyday. He had a plaster cast on his arm that was so dirty it had turned black and brown around his hand, and everyday he would eat plate after plate of cooked ham…no wonder he was sick!! Whenever he sat in the communal areas of the hostel there’d always be a several meter radius where no one would sit. There’s a reason they call it a YOUTH hostel! These sorts of people should be refused entry, I honestly can’t describe how gross it was.
4. THE WEATHER
It may be the warmest spot in Canada, but Vancouver is also the wettest. Seriously, it rains here more than in England. You’d think we’d be used to it but when it doesn’t stop for 5 days straight you do begin to wonder if you’ll ever see the sun again! Also Lucy is desperate for some snow, and is sorely disappointed each morning when she looks out of the window all bright-eyed and hopeful to see that she must wait yet another day for the Snow Queen to visit.
5. THE TROLLEY MEN
This is a bit of an odd one, but I couldn’t write this without mentioning Vancouver’s unique Trolley Men. Homelessness is a big problem here, so much so that the government have no idea what to do when the Winter Olympics start early next year and even suggested shoving all the homeless people and prostitutes onto a luxury cruise ship for the duration of the events in order to have them off the streets (!) However the Trolley Men are a little different from your average tramp. They spend all day aimlessly wheeling old supermarket trolleys around Vancouver’s streets filled usually with empty cans and bottles. After a few days of seeing this odd behaviour, and there really is a lot of it going on; at certain times you can walk just three blocks and see a dozen of them scooting around, we realised that they’re collecting recyclable materials which they then recycle in exchange for money. Ingenious or what! Well if we don’t manage to find jobs then at least we can join the ranks of Trolley Men and earn our small fortune that way!
As well as TM there are also a number of other tramp varieties, including the Classic Hobo found in all good cities the world over, and a personal favourite, the Whiteboard Hobo. This more rare strain chooses to carry a little whiteboard around which they write slogans on like ‘I bet you $1 you read this sign’ and ‘Smile if you masturbate’. Lucy always smiles.
6. THE PRICES
The biggest shock we faced upon arrival in Canada was the cost of living here. The locals joke that the BC of British Columbia actually stands for ‘Bring Cash’ and it’s not hard to see why. They charge for everything here…$8 a month for a bank account, the highest rent and real estate prices in the whole country, charges to receive telephone calls and text messages as well as make them, $10 a month just to have Caller ID and Voicemail on your phone, hidden 5% GST tax added to all prices, and a whopping 15% tip on every drink you buy in a bar! No wonder there’s no credit crunch here…businesses must be booming the amount of money you end up spending on a daily basis! I could continue but I think you get the picture. However if you feel moved by what you’ve just read then cash donations will be happily received as we are unemployed and homeless in one of the most expensive cities in the Western world. It could be like sponsoring an African child, you can send us a cheque and in return we’d send you pictures of us looking happy and write letters in broken English about how grateful we are!
7. THE PEOPLE
So you’re probably getting a bit bored of reading this now (if you’re even still reading at all - especially after I’ve made fun of both homeless people and Third World children in one cruel swoop; I do have a heart honestly!) but I couldn’t stop writing without letting you know about some of the amazing locals who have already made an impact on our time here. Firstly there was an amazing Mexican woman called Paola who sold us our phones (not strictly a local but she does live here now). I have honestly never laughed so hard while getting royally ripped off in my life. It’s hard to describe just why she was so funny but every line that she came out with seemed to be more outrageous than the last. At one point she told us that she normally doesn’t trust white people and disliked Brits but having met us she was beginning to change her mind, then she offered to sublet the living room of her apartment to us, the whole while spitting with every ‘S’ sound she spoke. Now whenever we go past her booth in the shopping mall we say hello but politely declined her kind offer of living with her.
Then we made friends with our banker: Mayda Fong. It was about a week after arriving and the fruitless job/flat hunt was beginning to take its toll but meeting this unique woman of barely 4 feet tall as we opened our bank accounts was the pick-me-up that we both needed. She was the most friendly woman who we’ll probably never even see again but she will be remembered, so I feel a shout-out to Mayda on the blog is appropriate. She even has her own theme song.
Our third new friend is called Michelle and she’s a mid-thirties rocker who’s Vancouver born-and-bred. She showed us around our first house viewing…a 100 year old building home to 13 people from all around the world. The house itself was pretty amazing and exactly what a foreign gap year home should be, but sadly she’s turfing everyone out for a month in January during the Olympics so she could let it out to people for ridiculously inflated rates (we’re talking $200 a night for a crappy shoebox sized room!) However despite not being able to take the room, we had a great time looking round; mostly because Michelle was drunk when she showed us. She told us with a slurred Canadian accent that she’d just got back from a date and may have had one or two glasses of the old vino…an understatement if I ever heard one. She was clearly more than a little bit tipsy and proceeded to tell us about how she liked to tell guys she’s got a maple leaf tattoo on her bum and if they want to see it they have to ask her on a second date (I think Lucy is thinking of trying this line out now!). She also periodically screamed at the TV, enjoyed repeated use of the F-word and gave the middle finger to her housemates for supporting the wrong ice-hockey team. In other words she was bonkers, but she certainly made a lasting impression.
Also just in case you're wondering we have actually made some really nice normal friends too. For more pics have a look on Facebook.
So there you have it really. Our first two weeks in Canada in a (slightly longer than planned) nutshell. Leave us a comment if you’re missing us!! Love from Danny and Lucy xoxo
